After taking three months to think about what I really want to do with this blog, I've decided to try and get more regular. I think way too much, which ends up holding me back from actually posting something. So, let's see how I do from here on.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago. There was a lot of spiritual turmoil going on in my life, upsetting me. And I'm waiting to hear about a couple of bits of writing that were submitted, one to a book publisher, the other to a script agent. I'm trying to wait without being anxious, but like many writers, I can get insecure. So this particular dream struck me as very interesting.
In the dream, I was driving across an island. The road went absolutely straight, but up and down some gentle hills. I also knew that this particular island was a floating island, floating on the sea. I don't know why that knowledge was important, but that's just the way it was.
Anyway, at one point I suddenly wasn't in the driver's seat. Instead I was sitting in the passenger side, and nobody was in the driver's seat. Or maybe "Nobody". But it seemed right and proper that it should be so, and anyway, the car kept going straight onward. And then after a bit, up ahead on the road I saw something, like a person walking on the side of the road, and it seemed right that I should reach over and make a little correction to the steering wheel. And suddenly I was back in the driver's seat.
I woke up then.
At first, the dream just seemed odd to me. But when I sat down to record it in my journal, describing it for myself, it seemed highly relevant for all sorts of things.
There really are times when we have to "leave the driving to God". I think that's what the dream was telling me. It is right and proper to do so. To be able to do that without worrying or fussing or trying to interfere, that's the hard part. It runs counter to our logic. We say "No one's steering the car!" Well, no one we can SEE. But God doesn't leave us alone. He doesn't put on a light show for us, usually. But He is there, keeping us on track, if we let Him do it. And then, once we're past whatever point needed His direct driving, it's back in our hands.
I like to think that I trust God that completely all the time, but I know I don't. I often find myself wondering "What can I do to move things along more?" Sometimes there are things for me to do, but just as often (if not more often), I simply have to leave it in God's hands and wait. The important thing is just staying on that straight road.